Job Perk Collector Gifts

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

'These are job perks.'

Cat Show

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

"Wait, you're firing me?! But I was Time magazine’s Person of the Year!"

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

'... and finally, to my business partner I leave my corporate parking space.'

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

Perks

'This one is for Hide and Seek.'

'I've got my wallet here in the left inside pocket. Now I got a bonus and bought a bigger wallet which needs more space. Would you please remove my heart?'

"You'll be allowed to work from home two days a week... Saturday and Sunday."

Many certificates of achievement on the wall.

'I warned you not to ask for a shorter work week.'

I'm no longer welcome at the county fair.

'...and this one is for knowing what all the others are for.'

'Well, sweetie, you got a prize, Why it's a cholesterol decoder ring!'

"I've been too busy investing my enormous salary to be bothered running the company."

"I've received another 'Certificate of Appreciation' from the Queen for my hard work: Frankly, I would rather get a cash bonus or a day off..."

'It would be a kindness to tell he HAS won his Duke of Edinburgh Award.'

"And I want to thank my boss, the best boss in the whole wide world..."

'The company had a good quarter, so we've decided to give you that company vehicle you've been wanting.'

'It's a prize for being first to go home.'

General gets a jackpot of medals at the casino slot machine.

Vote Jones, Just for the Hell of it.

"I didn't exactly win it."

"There's a one-year don't-get-sick probation period for our health insurance."

Zoo Corporation: Award for Solving a Big Pile of Poo Problems

Substitute Teacher of the Year Award.

Ms. Walsh, I'll be unavailable today...I'm spending it with my ego wall.

Footballer's Wages

'He has mixed feelings about the trophy — it's a lifetime achievement award from the Anarchists' Association.'

May I have your frequent flier points and corporate parking space, sir?