Salary Analysis Gifts

Income inequality vs Income Diversity.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"If I made as much as him, I could retire in a couple of days"

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

'The recession is over, again.'

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

End of Year Figs.

Experience-Productivity Ratio / Age-Salary Ratio.

"So do I take it that's a 'NO' to the pay rise?"

Career Analyst "Well I've looked at your file and yes, your job is rubbish"

"And, of course, this is when all our loose change fell out of our pockets."

Business Outlook

'Look at my huge salary as inspiration to you...'

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

Quiet Please: Merger In Progress

Customer Complaints - "Thank you, Thompson, for collecting the statistics."

"And these projections are based solidly on hope, crossed fingers, and fear."

Export

'Thanks for coming here today for my presentation, '10 cutting edge trends in the future of business analysis.' Copies of my talk will be available in the lobby in VHS and Betamax formats...'

'I do the work of three men...how about giving one of us a decent salary?'

"If I paid you what you're worth, you'd be working for nothing!"

"That's not a company progress chart. That's the bosses salary!"

"Can money buy happiness? Certainly not the amount I'm paying you."

"We ran the numbers on how climate change will affect economic growth, but the numbers got so spooked they just kept running."

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

"Well, there it is in black and white - we're in the red."

'I'm keen on precise statistics as the next person...'

'You get paid for what you produce at work not what you produce at home.'

'This is the part of my paycheck that goes to taxes.'

'Stocks soared on news a financial lobbyist wants 'greed' dropped as one of the cardinal sins.'

PAYMASTER, 'Just to be on the safe side, we withheld EVERYTHING this week.'

'I'm prepared to pay you a living wage. Of course, what kind of a living you get out of it is entirely up to you.'

Chairman, Wiz Washing Powders - When he saw the sales figures he went white.