Paycheck Analyst Gifts

'This is the part of my paycheck that goes to taxes.'

"It's the bill for our pay rise."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'

Experience-Productivity Ratio / Age-Salary Ratio.

"I never said they were well-compensated. I just said they were paid handsomely."

'Look at my huge salary as inspiration to you...'

"To be honest the culture sucks, but the pay is amazing."

"Worst budget cuts ever!"

'I've figured out a way to lower your income tax...give you less income.'

"Here's your paycheck. I hope we'll both find it amusing."

"Can money buy happiness? Certainly not the amount I'm paying you."

Income inequality vs Income Diversity.

"If I paid you what you're worth, you'd be working for nothing!"

Since I took command of the company, I have steered a steady course.

'No raise, but we can make your desk and chair one-inch taller.'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

'Stare at it all you want sir, but I can assure you, no one is going to jump out and yell 'April Fools.'

'Water into wine is certainly impressive. D'you do water into petrol?'

'I'm prepared to pay you a living wage. Of course, what kind of a living you get out of it is entirely up to you.'

PAYMASTER, 'Just to be on the safe side, we withheld EVERYTHING this week.'

"With so many applicants for a few jobs, we can lower the pay and drop the benefits!"

'If this warning label on cigarettes packets doesn't stop people smoking, nothing will.'

'What's wrong, people? You wanna be sooper-dooper safe, don't you?'

Your new salary is closely linked to profits - a smaller salary means more profits.

'The only thing keeping me from being successful is not having a salary.'

'All right, I want to know who's responsible for our profits no longer being obscene!'

'I suppose you've often wondered what you'd do if you had my income.'

"I'm a dynamic pricing consultant."

'We looked at a variety of options for allocating money to the voluntary agencies...and letting them fight it out was by far the cheapest.'