Career Comparer Gifts

30th Birthday - Doctors aren't like policemen.. they don't grow younger, they just age faster.

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

Ace headhunters.

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

Planned service changes

Day one, post grad

"I never had to choose between a baby and a career—I'm a surrogate mother."

The Hive, Inc. You mean I'll always be a worker, with no chance of advancement?

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

"Oh yes, we expect to replace you very soon. After all, the qualifications for the job aren't much."

'I feel like I'm in a rut, too!'

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

'Mom, Dad. I've made up my mind. I'm going to skip college, hire an agent, and pin all my hopes on a professional bass fishing careers.'

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

"Baldo, I don't care what you are...as long as you're good at it."

"How would you rate your toleration for risk?"

'I've been thinking about quitting, but it's the only thing that gets me out of the house.'

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

'From now on, Bob, you'll have to fetch your own newspaper and slippers. I'm ready for a career change.'

'Please don't be hurt, Dad, but I've decided to go into gathering instead of hunting.'

Multi-Species Employment Agency. Did you hire the octopus for that job opening? Yeah, but I did interview other applicants. The frog was a strong candidate ... I'm flexible on location -- I'm an amphibian! The whale seemed to be hiding something. The gap in my resume? Uh ... I was beached for a while. And the pig wasn't smart. I see "USDA Approved" on your resume --- I don't think you understand what that means. The octopus got the job because he was a great multitasker!

"This company needs a hero - not a superhero. You're overqualified."

"At the moment I'm torn between the emotionally rewarding but poorly resourced role of a social worker or a more intellectualy rigorous career in quantum physics."

"Why do we keep trying?""Because we need purpose..."