Career Matcher Gifts

HR worker wading through CV's.

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

Between Offices

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

"Why do you always assume I'm going down?"

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

Ace headhunters.

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

Planned service changes

'Make up your mind, pal - there are plenty of other fish who'd give their gills for this job.'

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

'I never wanted the best years of your life Clayton - just a few good days would do.'

'I feel like I'm in a rut, too!'

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

'Mom, Dad. I've made up my mind. I'm going to skip college, hire an agent, and pin all my hopes on a professional bass fishing careers.'

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."

"I guess I'll see you around Frank."

"Baldo, I don't care what you are...as long as you're good at it."

'From now on, Bob, you'll have to fetch your own newspaper and slippers. I'm ready for a career change.'

'I've been thinking about quitting, but it's the only thing that gets me out of the house.'

'Please don't be hurt, Dad, but I've decided to go into gathering instead of hunting.'