Love Matcher Gifts

"He's cute...and look, he's been wormed."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

Preparing for casual dress friday at the investment bank.

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'I hate the moods yuo wake up in!'

'Norbert, he's playing our ring tone.'

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

'It's a bloody-cross-breed.'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

At the Goldilocks Music Store albums are labeled: 'Too Many Notes,' 'Too Few Notes,' 'Too loud,' 'Too Soft,' and 'Just Right.'

Acme Dating Service

"What are we doing wrong?"

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

Match maker

Rescue dog rejecting potential owners

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

Sidekick speed matching service.

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

HR worker wading through CV's.

"Your Father's just in a bad mood."