Love Matcher Gifts

"He's cute...and look, he's been wormed."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

Preparing for casual dress friday at the investment bank.

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

'Norbert, he's playing our ring tone.'

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'I hate the moods yuo wake up in!'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

"What are we doing wrong?"

Acme Dating Service

At the Goldilocks Music Store albums are labeled: 'Too Many Notes,' 'Too Few Notes,' 'Too loud,' 'Too Soft,' and 'Just Right.'

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Match maker

Rescue dog rejecting potential owners

Sidekick speed matching service.

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

As luck would have it the hunchback's blind date turned out to be a hunchbelly!

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

HR worker wading through CV's.

"Your Father's just in a bad mood."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."