Money Matcher Gifts

'I doubled my money! The bank dude gave me 20 50-cent-coins for lousy ten one-euro-coins!'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'There's a gentleman out here with $643 million. He would like to discuss a takeover.'

"And they say it's the safest 500-P/E stock out there."

'I think you need to reboot your fiscal compass.'

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

'Norbert, he's playing our ring tone.'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'I guess you could say we're a 'faith-based' company. Everyone worships the dollar around here.'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Acme Dating Service

At the Goldilocks Music Store albums are labeled: 'Too Many Notes,' 'Too Few Notes,' 'Too loud,' 'Too Soft,' and 'Just Right.'

"I see your point, but wouldn't it be more fun to spend it while I'm young enough to enjoy it?"

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

'We're seeking a safe tax haven for our investments.'

Rolling Over a Pension.

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

Match maker

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

'Billy, you're embarrassing us. Please stop saying 'ka-ching, ka-ching'.'

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Sidekick speed matching service.

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

'I love Brahms' 2nd Symphony in A minor, especially the part where it pauses and the voice says, 'Please hold for the next available broker'.'

What's 'Bitcoin'?

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

HR worker wading through CV's.