Meal Matcher Gifts

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Domestic Goddess.

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"Darling, you never let me see the side of you that pays."

'I love it when you cook - it lets me practice faking it.'

A shop is called 'Garnishes: Top Meals in Tough Times'.

'Which are the most popular and least popular items, and which have been on the menu the longest and shortest times?'

'After you with the camouflage.'

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

'There's something wrong with the slow cooker. I check it every minute but nothing's cooking!'

'Help! -- I ate too much and I can't get up!'

Tsunami in the cooking pot.

'You'll find loaves in the pantry and fishes in the freezer.'

"I have a strong personal commitment to dinner."

'Howard's short stay in the hospital was good for both of us. He finally appreciates my cooking.'

"Every time my wife has an accident in the kitchen, I end up eating it. . ."

"And there it is... Coronation chicken"

'Would you believe, humble pie?'

Food Blog

'This is Muriel's kitchen, where the magic happens -- you know, Voodoo and stuff like that.'

"I gave your ‘compliments to the chef,’ and he’d like you to elaborate."

'I'm short of ingredients. What's a good substitute for filet mignon?'

'Yuck! My creamed corn is polluting my mashed potatoes!'

Grandchildren's Menu: Whatever's on your plate and no funny business

'I doubled my money! The bank dude gave me 20 50-cent-coins for lousy ten one-euro-coins!'

Lady with an inflatable dinner date.

Hey, those are not menus!

Who wants to say grace? Grace! Ames! Would you please show the kids how it's done? Ok. Thank you. That's it? I could have said that! Amen.

'No dessert? You mean I ate all that food for nothing?'

'It was late, very late, but the peas had touched the mash potatoes, and only dawn could lift the curse.'

'I'm flattered you want to share your life with me, but since this is our date, why don't we just trying sharing music files and see how that goes?'

"I thought I told you not to drink your milk."

'I can't believe you cooked this all by yourself...you must have had an accomplice!'

'Just as I suspected - cheating on our diet!'