Meal Predictor Gifts

"It says, 'Someday you will die.'"

'I sent out for everything.'

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Chez Nous Menu

Soup of the month.

'Like death by salad.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Before/After

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'Men order. . . women shop.'

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

Horn of Leftovers

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

Surprise in the salad bowl

"Darling, you never let me see the side of you that pays."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

"Hey, waiter! This homework is burnt to a crisp!"

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"Who's on duty today...you or me?"

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

"Now I wish we hadn't ordered all those appetizers."

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"