Predictable Diner Gifts

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Bad for you but to die for

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

"For drinks or dinner?"

'How would you like your toast?'

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

"A votre sante!"

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

'Would you folks care for some fresh maple syrup on your pancakes?'

'...And an extra packet of crackers! It's our Anniversary!'

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

"Just a drop."

A train's dining car is a diner.

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

Man finds a python in his breakfast egg

'Yes, all our flambe dishes come with injury, liability insurance.'

'Meat loaf again!'

'What the devil is that?' - 'I don't know, I haven't named it yet.'

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

Mum's Diner - you finish those veggies!

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

'A fly in your soup, eh? -- Call me if it gets any worse.'

"Our cook is working through a lot of stuff."