Mystery Meal Planner Gifts

"Hey, guess what we're having for dinner tomorrow."

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

Soup of the month.

'Like death by salad.'

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

Kiddies Menu for Witches

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

"Now I wish we hadn't ordered all those appetizers."

'I put an app on your computer to remove cookies and other thins slowing it down. It's like fiber for your computer.'

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

"Sure we could just print out the specials, but the chef doesn't want to leave a paper trail."

"Our specials can also be accessed at www.todaysspecials.com."

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

'I'll have the mystery meat with anonymous vegetables.'

'There was a power failure today - we're having steak, fish, chicken, hamburger, turkey, and pork chops for dinner.'

"Your dinner is at www.Icouldntbearsed.com."

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'

Me, Alice and God

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

"What'll I eat, when you, are far away, and I am blue, what'll I eat?"

CIA Cafeteria: 'It's nice of you to ask, but the recipe is classified.'