Magical Meal Planner Gifts

"This batch of Witch's Brew is vegan. The eye of newt and toe of frog are plant-based."

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

Soup of the month.

'Like death by salad.'

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

Kiddies Menu for Witches

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

"Now I wish we hadn't ordered all those appetizers."

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

"What would you suggest as a dinner strategy?"

A day at the FULL CIRCLE RANCH

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'Do you have a traditional Christmas dinner, but for a lacto-vegan fruitarian?'

'Please have the bouncer throw me out before the dessert course.'

'I put an app on your computer to remove cookies and other thins slowing it down. It's like fiber for your computer.'

"No arguing mister! I want you to eat at least one pea!"

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

'There was a power failure today - we're having steak, fish, chicken, hamburger, turkey, and pork chops for dinner.'

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

"Your dinner is at www.Icouldntbearsed.com."

Me, Alice and God

"Hey, guess what we're having for dinner tomorrow."