Meal Predictor Pillows

"It says, 'Someday you will die.'"

'I sent out for everything.'

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Soup of the month.

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

Chez Nous Menu

'Like death by salad.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

Before/After

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

Horn of Leftovers

"Darling, you never let me see the side of you that pays."

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

"Ok, ok, we'll travel back to dinnertime one more time, but then it's my turn to choose."

Surprise in the salad bowl

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"Hey, waiter! This homework is burnt to a crisp!"

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

"That's the door to the gym, past all the snack machines."

"Who's on duty today...you or me?"

'Before you order, perhaps you'd like to discuss your food issues with our eating therapist.'

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

'I'm in the mood to cook!'

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."