Money Handler Gifts

A customer in a bank sees a sign reading, "Tipping Permitted", beside a teller's window.

"I see your point, but wouldn't it be more fun to spend it while I'm young enough to enjoy it?"

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

Great Chinese Dynasties

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

'I'll need more than I can spend.'

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

Money exchange

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

"We balanced our budget this month!"

"I managed to find a healthy work-life balance, but now there's a problem with my bank balance."

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

'But I do have fun. I have lots lots of fun. I have lots of fun making money.'

'If we're going to have a banking relationship, you'll have to trust me more than this.'

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

'My piggy bank charged shaking fees.'

'In the future, if we're a little late with your allowance, don't just automatically turn it over to a collection agency.'

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

"I never said they were well-compensated. I just said they were paid handsomely."