Money Handler Pillows

A customer in a bank sees a sign reading, "Tipping Permitted", beside a teller's window.

"I see your point, but wouldn't it be more fun to spend it while I'm young enough to enjoy it?"

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

Profit

Great Chinese Dynasties

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

Department of efficiency and cost analysis.

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

'Mixed news from the federal reserve...interest rates will drop on savings but will go up on loans.'

"I managed to find a healthy work-life balance, but now there's a problem with my bank balance."

'I'll need more than I can spend.'

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

'Look at it another way. Happiness can't buy you money!'

Money exchange

"We balanced our budget this month!"

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

'The golden eggs are great... but I need you to lay a golden parachute.'

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

'But I do have fun. I have lots lots of fun. I have lots of fun making money.'

'If we're going to have a banking relationship, you'll have to trust me more than this.'

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

"A man never stands so tall, son, as when he stoops to pick up a quarter."

Counting my Bonus...

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'