Modern Money Handlers Pillows

"Sorry, I left my credit cards at home!"

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

Money exchange

"We balanced our budget this month!"

'There's a gentleman out here with $643 million. He would like to discuss a takeover.'

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

'If you must know... I got the ten-million-dollar bonus this year because... instead of losing 15-million-dollars, we could of possibly lost much, much more!'

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'

"And they say it's the safest 500-P/E stock out there."

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

Overdraft limit.

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

What is possible and what is probable.

Here today, Bailed Out Tomorrow.

Piggy Bank ATM

"And you call yourself a socially-responsible investment portfolio!"

'We're seeking a safe tax haven for our investments.'

"I see your point, but wouldn't it be more fun to spend it while I'm young enough to enjoy it?"

'Well, okay. So we almost bankrupted the country. But we've managed to make a slight profit thanks to the government bail out package, so who can possibly deny us a fat bonus this year?'

Have you hugged your money today?

'Would it kill 'ya to index my birthday check to inflation?'

Rolling Over a Pension.

'While I'm here for my audit, could I interest you in some tax free municipal bonds?'

Yes we can increase your overdraft, but I'd like to see a little more grovelling, please.

Man goes from instant cash machine to instant spending.

Piggy bank...cash cow.