Modern Money Handlers Gifts

"Sorry, I left my credit cards at home!"

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

Money exchange

"We balanced our budget this month!"

'If you must know... I got the ten-million-dollar bonus this year because... instead of losing 15-million-dollars, we could of possibly lost much, much more!'

"Constant vigilance, regular trimming."

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

'Don't worry about making your will, Miss Moneybags leave everything to me. . .'

'There's a gentleman out here with $643 million. He would like to discuss a takeover.'

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'

'You're my economic advisor. What'll I do?'

"And they say it's the safest 500-P/E stock out there."

Overdraft limit.

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

What is possible and what is probable.

Here today, Bailed Out Tomorrow.

"And you call yourself a socially-responsible investment portfolio!"

"I see your point, but wouldn't it be more fun to spend it while I'm young enough to enjoy it?"

Have you hugged your money today?

'Well, okay. So we almost bankrupted the country. But we've managed to make a slight profit thanks to the government bail out package, so who can possibly deny us a fat bonus this year?'

Piggy Bank ATM

'We're seeking a safe tax haven for our investments.'

'Would it kill 'ya to index my birthday check to inflation?'

Rolling Over a Pension.

'While I'm here for my audit, could I interest you in some tax free municipal bonds?'

Yes we can increase your overdraft, but I'd like to see a little more grovelling, please.

"Our credit rating has improved. There's a pre-approved credit card in the report."

Man goes from instant cash machine to instant spending.

Piggy bank...cash cow.