Ethical Money Handler Gifts

"And you call yourself a socially-responsible investment portfolio!"

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"Honestly, doing the right thing is going to be a big change for us."

'Still, there's a lot of money to be made.'

"Do you want to ruin me?! Take it away!!"

Have you hugged your money today?

Nasty, Shady, and Gruesome equal Massive potential profits

Free-range C.E.O.s

Pets: This animal has not been tested on products.

"I see your point, but wouldn't it be more fun to spend it while I'm young enough to enjoy it?"

'Could you tell me where the organic locally-grown vine-ripened union-picked kiwis are?'

"I suppose it's too late to start testing on animals?"

Investments: Yes, we have organic, local & cruelty-free stocks.

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

"On the one hand, we'll burn in hell; on the other, that's a lot of money."

'That's it agreed then - the company's new motto is going to be 'We didn't do anything illegal'.'

"You can take it with you down here - but no social conscience funds."

"If you work hard, exploit your employees, take advantage of a pandemic, use loopholes to avoid taxes,hoard your wealth, and in an act of extreme self-indulgent meaningless vanity, you can someday be an astronaut."

'This is one of the drawbacks to leading by example.'

"So what else can we get our customers to do online themselves and charge them for it?"

We're looking at a six figure return. Unfortunately, they're all zeros.

Caution Fragile

'Everything here is organic, free range, naturally produced, locally sourced, pesticide free, minimally packaged and fairly traded - and yet, ironically, I am a complete bastard.'

'Your business plan needs work, I'm not feeling a tingle of moral remorse.'

Introducing clean conscience products

'That, sir - that dismissive little hand wave? It's way too Enron.'

'Expensive? Yes, but I don't exploit my mother.'

Our Products Are Not Tested On Real Animals

Holistic Stocks, Inc.

'Shall we accept not-so-special interet money?'

'Consumer Society'

"I refuse to exploit my mother."

"I'm an 'ethical' carnivore'. Were any of those cows assholes?"