Ethical Money Handler T-Shirts

"And you call yourself a socially-responsible investment portfolio!"

"I guess it's ethical. Let me run it through my 'Ethics Check' app."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"Honestly, doing the right thing is going to be a big change for us."

'Still, there's a lot of money to be made.'

"Do you want to ruin me?! Take it away!!"

"I suppose it's too late to start testing on animals?"

Pets: This animal has not been tested on products.

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

Free-range C.E.O.s

"I see your point, but wouldn't it be more fun to spend it while I'm young enough to enjoy it?"

Nasty, Shady, and Gruesome equal Massive potential profits

Investments: Yes, we have organic, local & cruelty-free stocks.

'Could you tell me where the organic locally-grown vine-ripened union-picked kiwis are?'

Have you hugged your money today?

"On the one hand, we'll burn in hell; on the other, that's a lot of money."

'That's it agreed then - the company's new motto is going to be 'We didn't do anything illegal'.'

"You can take it with you down here - but no social conscience funds."

"If you work hard, exploit your employees, take advantage of a pandemic, use loopholes to avoid taxes,hoard your wealth, and in an act of extreme self-indulgent meaningless vanity, you can someday be an astronaut."

'This is one of the drawbacks to leading by example.'

We're looking at a six figure return. Unfortunately, they're all zeros.

'Your business plan needs work, I'm not feeling a tingle of moral remorse.'

Caution Fragile

'Everything here is organic, free range, naturally produced, locally sourced, pesticide free, minimally packaged and fairly traded - and yet, ironically, I am a complete bastard.'

Introducing clean conscience products

'That, sir - that dismissive little hand wave? It's way too Enron.'

'Expensive? Yes, but I don't exploit my mother.'

Our Products Are Not Tested On Real Animals

Holistic Stocks, Inc.

'Consumer Society'

"I'm an 'ethical' carnivore'. Were any of those cows assholes?"

'Shall we accept not-so-special interet money?'

"I refuse to exploit my mother."

"This company is unethical, exploitative, and ... wait a minute, HOW much?!"