Career Matcher Mugs

HR worker wading through CV's.

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

Between Offices

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

'I find my job interesting because even after 27 years, I still don't know exactly what I'm doing here!'

"Why do you always assume I'm going down?"

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

Ace headhunters.

Planned service changes

'Make up your mind, pal - there are plenty of other fish who'd give their gills for this job.'

'I feel like I'm in a rut, too!'

Become a Cosmetic Surgeon - Raise a Few Eyebrows!

'I like the part of your resume where you didn't ask for a raise for 10 years.'

"This is one of those great jobs you'd be willing to do for free. Will you do it for free?"

"Very impressive resume, however you didn't explain why you were tagged and released from your last job."

'I was speeding right along toward my goal of moving up from middle management, when a cost-cutting measure overtook me!'

'I never wanted the best years of your life Clayton - just a few good days would do.'

The Hive, Inc. You mean I'll always be a worker, with no chance of advancement?

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

'Mom, Dad. I've made up my mind. I'm going to skip college, hire an agent, and pin all my hopes on a professional bass fishing careers.'

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'

Multi-Species Employment Agency. Did you hire the octopus for that job opening? Yeah, but I did interview other applicants. The frog was a strong candidate ... I'm flexible on location -- I'm an amphibian! The whale seemed to be hiding something. The gap in my resume? Uh ... I was beached for a while. And the pig wasn't smart. I see "USDA Approved" on your resume --- I don't think you understand what that means. The octopus got the job because he was a great multitasker!

"Baldo, I don't care what you are...as long as you're good at it."

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."

'I've been thinking about quitting, but it's the only thing that gets me out of the house.'

'Please don't be hurt, Dad, but I've decided to go into gathering instead of hunting.'

'From now on, Bob, you'll have to fetch your own newspaper and slippers. I'm ready for a career change.'