Career Mixer Gifts

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

Dan tells me you're an architect. That is so cool! Thanks! Cloud architect, actually.

Interdisciplinary studies.

Major Bunker (who has been persuaded to join in a game of hockey for the first time, absent-mindedly preparing to drive). 'Force.'

Summertime.

"Phil's an expert networker. One drink and he's on schmooze-control."

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

'Then after the pan our third album, we split for musical differences..'

Wedding Chefs

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

"Where did you say you went to culinary school?"

"It's a Mexican Wave!!"

Great Poets of Catalogdom

"Any experience?"

'Your resume says you have a B.A. in medieval history, a M.A. in modern art, and a PhD in metaphysical poetry. Have you checked us out on the internet? We design and manufacture detonation switches for drones.'

Start the session by doing something unusual.

'My resume,...in rap form!'

Books and Phones

'..and one for the pot.'

Respected Professionals

'I don't like the mediciney taste of this mouthwash either. I hate that taste of eyes of newt and turtle brains first thing in the morning.'

'So what you're telling me is you've been fired from the last 15 jobs you had.'

Nun reading 'Halo' magazine

Eskimo putting fake snow on his Christmas tree

Cowpunk

'I heard you got a job at that new club. It must be great."

'This is taking forever. We should've just microwaved it.'

Where Are They Now?

HR worker wading through CV's.

'I told you not to try to order in Spanish.'

'OK, I see you've worked as a driving instructor for the past 23 years.'

Man holding up a cowboy with his TV remote control.

"What the hell was in that?!"