Salary Gifts

'I'm prepared to pay you a living wage. Of course, what kind of a living you get out of it is entirely up to you.'

'After seeing my paycheck, I need an MRI: More Revenue In.'

'Of course I'm overpaid, everyone is overpaid!'

"I'm pulling down nearly six figures these days. Five, to be exact."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'My my, hell must have frozen over!'

"So a rise is out of the question, then?"

'I do the work of three men...how about giving one of us a decent salary?'

"I'm at that sweet spot in my career...right between 'young and underpaid' and 'old and too expensive.'"

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

Shepherd and eurydice

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'I sent out for everything.'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

City Zoo: Day Care

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

The Art Student.

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"Good game."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."