Salary Commentator Gifts

'I hate it when someone paid less than I am strikes out.'

"You'll be happy to know that the small salary you're being paid makes it cost prohibitive to replace you."

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

Ants dressed as businessmen going to work.

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

I think, theerfore I am underpaid

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

'Well, maybe upteen zillion was too general a cost estimate.'

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

"Good evening. In today's top story, my book has jumped to Number Three on the best-seller list."

Pundits

Surgery is to be encouraged to set up food banks

"I'm aware that you brought a high-powered agent...are you aware that this job pays $26,382 and nine cents per year?"

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

Defunding the police vs defunding education

"Great work, Jackson! I'm going to raise your salary by 7 downsizings."

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

Today stocks fell gently like snow dropping on cedars...

'The Chinese are using their currency as a weapon!' - 'Yeah - they have an ATM bomb!'

"That sweet raise everybody's been excited about is finally here. Enjoy it!"

"You look perfectly suited for managing on the pigeons have a salary that goes with the job!"

"The election is underway!"

I dread to think what he would have got had they made a profit.

'And now, an NBS News Special Investigative Report: Why doesn't President Obama get the respect and support he deserves?'

'We value you in ways that cannot be expressed in money.'

'Of course being on short term contract, I don't enjoy the same benefits as the rest of you.'

"This week on Sunday Hot Takes, the wage gap between men and women - is it really such a bad thing? Jill, you hate other women, start us off with something awful."

'That's the end of the news - (B****RD MEN!!)'

'And if you're not confused yet, you will be when this bloke has finished.'

"...No, he can't really fly...no, the bad guys really don't have a ray gun...no, this cereal really isn't the best food in the whole world...no, it won't make you as strong as a giant..."

"Tonight's big story... we're leaving you... it's not you, it's us..."

"While a cure for curiosity remains elusive, it continues to take a deadly toll."