Salad Making Gifts

'Cooking, it's rocket science...'

"Cactus leaves, chayote squash, or tomatillos?"

'Oh no wonder, this is Extra Virgin Mary Olive Oil.'

Pig in the back room sits quivering as the chef offers bacon bits to a customer.

'My fellow rabbits, I bring you... Dressing!'

Ranch Dressing

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

Surprise in the salad bowl

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

'Diet considerations.'

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

"May I take your plate or are you still nibbling?"

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"More croutons, sir?"

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."

"We only do salads. There's no need to keep warning customers that the plates are cold."

"Who is having the 4 bean salad? Half portion?"

"Good morning, Mother! We made you a desk salad."

"Might I recommend one of our salads? They come with three of your companion's fries."

Free salad bar.