Sailing Superfan Gifts

America's Cup Fever

Cutaway view of Ocean liner.

'Cannonball!'

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

"Harry—Let's get brunch and day drink."

Piracy on a boating lake

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

'Heavy seas tonight, Mom...'

Captain steering house through flood.

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

Farmer and FIsherman

Fish or Cut Bait

"He says he's sure this isn't Wildwood. Did you put batteries in the GPS?"

"Shall I let them breathe."

Lighthouse Beam.

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

'Just in case there is an accident.'

'Clem,the doctor told you to get away and relax.'

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

'How long have you operated multi-engines, sailor?'

"There's always a period of adjustment whenever you hire a new crew."

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

'Of course I brought the emergency flares.'

'So, what do you want to talk about?'

'Well for crying out loud, why didn't you do that when I asked you?!!'

'Keep pumping Mildred.'

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

"Call me Ishmael."

Distractions.

The Difficulties of Transporting Boats

On the plus side, I'd wager a lot of you folks back there had never seen an iceburg up close before.