Sailing Skipper Gifts

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

When laundry ruled the waves.

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Doug fights back at soaring gas prices.

A private jet takes off

Rock - see you in a million years!

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

Remote controlled car on a boat.

A spa bath at Mapledurham.

"Honestly, sweetheart, they haven't brought out a little Ellen MacArthur set. As soon as they do daddy will get you one."

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

"It's a survival instinct...they know there's an underwater pipe pumping out untreated effluent somewhere around here."

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

"Sure, I'll give you a second opinion. I don't think you should stay home from school either."

'It's just one thing after another. The minute they let you out of school, the garden starts to produce.'

'I've already marked you absent, Eddie. Go home.'

'I hear you played football instead of going to school.'

Overweight Man With Skipping Rope - To Be Taken 3 Times A Day.

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

"Oops.....Land ahoy!"

Boating Supplies. The spinnaker has a tear in it. Don't send it out to a customer. Too late, that ship has sailed.

Pirate's car has patch for the headlight.

'Bed rest and no school for a week. Boy, I like this doctor!'

'The Principal suspended me-- School is the only place in the world where you can get time off for bad behavior.'

"Your sailing skills are improving but you need more work on the 'drop anchor' part."

'I can't come to school today because I have a barking cough. Wanna hear it?'

'The swabbie's chantey was unwelcomed on the birdfarm.'

New York Sightseeing Cruises

'He always trains until the very last minute.'

Captain Balbo and his Marchetti seaplane.

'Sorry Professor, you're right: I DID skip a line of the instructions...'

Sailing

'What type of line are you using?'

"You know what school needs? - A fast forward button!"