Sailing Skipper T-Shirts

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

When laundry ruled the waves.

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Rock - see you in a million years!

A private jet takes off

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

Remote controlled car on a boat.

"Honestly, sweetheart, they haven't brought out a little Ellen MacArthur set. As soon as they do daddy will get you one."

A spa bath at Mapledurham.

"It's a survival instinct...they know there's an underwater pipe pumping out untreated effluent somewhere around here."

Raft with a 'Caution Wet!' sign.

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

"Sure, I'll give you a second opinion. I don't think you should stay home from school either."

'It's just one thing after another. The minute they let you out of school, the garden starts to produce.'

Overweight Man With Skipping Rope - To Be Taken 3 Times A Day.

'I hear you played football instead of going to school.'

Pirate's car has patch for the headlight.

'I've already marked you absent, Eddie. Go home.'

"Oops.....Land ahoy!"

'Bed rest and no school for a week. Boy, I like this doctor!'

'The Principal suspended me-- School is the only place in the world where you can get time off for bad behavior.'

New York Sightseeing Cruises

'I can't come to school today because I have a barking cough. Wanna hear it?'

'The swabbie's chantey was unwelcomed on the birdfarm.'

"Your sailing skills are improving but you need more work on the 'drop anchor' part."

'He always trains until the very last minute.'

Captain Balbo and his Marchetti seaplane.

'Sorry Professor, you're right: I DID skip a line of the instructions...'

'What type of line are you using?'

Sailing

"You know what school needs? - A fast forward button!"