Skipping Rope Skipper T-Shirts

Overweight Man With Skipping Rope - To Be Taken 3 Times A Day.

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Rock - see you in a million years!

Remote controlled car on a boat.

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'Ready Mum?'

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

A spa bath at Mapledurham.

'I think you'll find that I'm next. . .'

Fly using tail as skipping rope.

"Ya know, no mask or hand sanitizer can spare you from spring fever."

New York Sightseeing Cruises

Skipping with a beard.

'He always trains until the very last minute.'

"My wife told me to have a good day, so I went fishing instead of work."

"In my defense it is an exit and the line was really long..."

'Sorry Professor, you're right: I DID skip a line of the instructions...'

Sailing

'I think I liked it better when you two would go into town on leave and get into trouble.'

'What type of line are you using?'

Beach Bouncer

Young against old

'It's to remind the skipper that it's his wife's birthday.'

"I used to have tattoos. They're a lot easier to get than to have removed."

"The food was awful, but we got right in."

'My folks are away and I have the ship. What do you say we go out and do some crop circles?'

'Could you change the channel? This program even put the bird to sleep.'

The next week, the town enacted a law banning double dutch with fuel hoses.

"Didn't I send you out for some fish nets?"

'Boy you are good!'

fat woman passed her handbag to husband before getting weighed.