Skipping Rope Skipper Pillows

Overweight Man With Skipping Rope - To Be Taken 3 Times A Day.

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Rock - see you in a million years!

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'Ready Mum?'

Remote controlled car on a boat.

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

A spa bath at Mapledurham.

'I think you'll find that I'm next. . .'

Fly using tail as skipping rope.

"Ya know, no mask or hand sanitizer can spare you from spring fever."

Shut Yer Yapper and be Happy, Loser! There's a ton of so-called simple self-help books. The five most important questions: 7 habits of highly effective people: 7 steps to living at your fullest potential. Too many steps! She's going to be filthy rich.

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

New York Sightseeing Cruises

Skipping with a beard.

"My wife told me to have a good day, so I went fishing instead of work."

'He always trains until the very last minute.'

"In my defense it is an exit and the line was really long..."

'Sorry Professor, you're right: I DID skip a line of the instructions...'

Sailing

'I think I liked it better when you two would go into town on leave and get into trouble.'

'What type of line are you using?'

The Empire State Building's design was modified slightly after the 1933 'incident'!

"Lawyers and rats fleeing the ship; that can't be good."

'It's to remind the skipper that it's his wife's birthday.'

Young against old

Beach Bouncer

"I used to have tattoos. They're a lot easier to get than to have removed."

'My folks are away and I have the ship. What do you say we go out and do some crop circles?'

'Boy you are good!'

'Could you change the channel? This program even put the bird to sleep.'

"Didn't I send you out for some fish nets?"

The next week, the town enacted a law banning double dutch with fuel hoses.

"The food was awful, but we got right in."