Rope Skipper Pillows

'He always trains until the very last minute.'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Rock - see you in a million years!

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'Ready Mum?'

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

Lasso

'Wow! Look everyone, Tarquin's lassooed a snake!'

Fly using tail as skipping rope.

Shut Yer Yapper and be Happy, Loser! There's a ton of so-called simple self-help books. The five most important questions: 7 habits of highly effective people: 7 steps to living at your fullest potential. Too many steps! She's going to be filthy rich.

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

Overweight Man With Skipping Rope - To Be Taken 3 Times A Day.

"Ya know, no mask or hand sanitizer can spare you from spring fever."

"My wife told me to have a good day, so I went fishing instead of work."

Skipping with a beard.

'The company has implemented a fitness program. From now on all employees will climb the rope to their offices.'

Sailing

'What type of line are you using?'

'I think I liked it better when you two would go into town on leave and get into trouble.'

"Wow! This ropes course is a blast!"

"Lawyers and rats fleeing the ship; that can't be good."

The Empire State Building's design was modified slightly after the 1933 'incident'!

'It's to remind the skipper that it's his wife's birthday.'

"This is Plan A. I recommend we skip it and get right on to Plan B."

"I used to have tattoos. They're a lot easier to get than to have removed."

'Boy you are good!'

'My folks are away and I have the ship. What do you say we go out and do some crop circles?'

"Didn't I send you out for some fish nets?"

A bloke went up with a rope, and disappeared.

Gymnasium

"Just shout if you need my attention. Don’t tug on the rope."

The next week, the town enacted a law banning double dutch with fuel hoses.

"The food was awful, but we got right in."

Velcro sneaks.