Ship Skipper T-Shirts

'What type of line are you using?'

"Lawyers and rats fleeing the ship; that can't be good."

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

A massive ship pulls in in Central Park.

Captain steering house through flood.

A private jet takes off

Rock - see you in a million years!

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

Sea weed harvest.

'Don't be so dramatic and get into my office!'

Lighthouse Beam.

Remote controlled car on a boat.

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

Lifesaver!

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

'May I speak to you alone, Cap'n?'

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

Distractions.

A spa bath at Mapledurham.

'I heard that the new captain was raised on a farm.'

"Well, we've learned that passengers will mutiny if they are served meatloaf two days in a row... Even if you do call it the South Sea Surprise on the second day!"

'If we took the boat out, it might get dirty or scratched. Can't we sit here for the next several hours and talk about why you accused me of being paranoid?'

"According to the charts, it should be clear sailing after this."

Dead Men Tell No Tales.

'Maybe we should've let that one pass.'

"I forget who, but he's somebody's kid."

"Miss Jones, cancel my 3:30pm"

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

Suez Canal Curse

"Warning! Not to be used as a life saving device."

'Attention!! All hands on deck!'

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'