Spaceship Skipper Gifts

'My folks are away and I have the ship. What do you say we go out and do some crop circles?'

Rocket Launch Control Centre Back in 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

Save Our Universe

A private jet takes off

Remote controlled car on a boat.

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

A spa bath at Mapledurham.

"Remember everybody, this is planet Earth, so whatever you do, don't drink the water!"

'I know it's dark out here - we're traveling faster than the speed of light'

"We're going have to build higher walls."

"We're here doing PR. The army arrives next week."

The skipper never wears a hat that fits. He's always been afraid of cap-sizing!

"Can you take over the controls? I've got to take a number 4!"

Overweight Man With Skipping Rope - To Be Taken 3 Times A Day.

Shut Yer Yapper and be Happy, Loser! There's a ton of so-called simple self-help books. The five most important questions: 7 habits of highly effective people: 7 steps to living at your fullest potential. Too many steps! She's going to be filthy rich.

Enemies of the Earth

"Ya know, no mask or hand sanitizer can spare you from spring fever."

"This must be their mothership... prepare to board!"

"Captain, we're headed straight toward a big gaping hole of needs!"

"Parallel park and then do a crop circle."

"I identify as it/it."

New York Sightseeing Cruises

"My wife told me to have a good day, so I went fishing instead of work."

'He always trains until the very last minute.'

'Sorry Professor, you're right: I DID skip a line of the instructions...'

Sailing

'What type of line are you using?'

"Lawyers and rats fleeing the ship; that can't be good."

'It's to remind the skipper that it's his wife's birthday.'

The Empire State Building's design was modified slightly after the 1933 'incident'!

"This is Plan A. I recommend we skip it and get right on to Plan B."

'I have no idea who he is, I like to keep myself to myself.'

"I used to have tattoos. They're a lot easier to get than to have removed."

"The food was awful, but we got right in."

"Didn't I send you out for some fish nets?"