Safety Sage Gifts

Flying 101: Keep landings equal to take offs.

"Your mom is a little overprotective, isn't she?"

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

Solicitor personal injury specialist - "So, you were at work when you tripped over the Health and Safety officer."

"Let it go. You have to learn to pick your battles."

"When I said I wanted you to champion our health and safety campaign I was thinking more of you designing new pamphlets."

'You might want to cover the floor with something other than straw.' (Needles and Pins company).

'Tell me, Mr. Steiner, do you do a lot of heavy lifting at work?'

'Ma'am, don't you know that dirty chimneys are a fire hazard?'

Safety is something a lot of people learn by accident.

"No problems with the wheel, but this fire thing is going to be a tough sell to the Consumer Product Safety Commission."

'There's a lot of bugs in these parts, so I suggest you wear your helmet from here on out.'

Pay Now . . . or Pay Later.

"Last week Tom built his own smoke detector...but it short circuited and almost burnt the house down."

"The first rule about roadkill is "don't become one"! So check for traffic before you swoop down to get your dinner..."

"Now everybody talks behind glass."

"Aways the victim."

'Ugh! I TOLD Thak it needed balancing!'

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."

If car safety seats had been mandatory when we were kids.

'It says, 'Please don't leave bricks on the path where people can trip on them'.'

'I don't need a computer to tell me I failed to fasten my seat belt or release the emergency brake.'

'It'll never catch on. As Health and Safety Officer I can see it's far too dangerous to use - you could have someone's eye out with it!'

"Do you know how close to the sun you were flying?"

"Don't forget your gunfighting helmet."

"Wear a helmet."

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

One way only.

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

"Say one Our Father Attenborough and three Hail Gretas."

It's the biofuel generation.

"If obsessing about trash is wrong, then. . . I don't wanna be right."