Internet Safety Sage Gifts

'You were a shoo-in. Then I stumbled across your blog.'

Hate Platforms

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

"So who is this First pet?"

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

"Hack back with all you've got!"

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."

"I've entered your PIN for you. "

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."

"Don't forget your gunfighting helmet."

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

'We've entered the 'password sharing' phase of our relationship!'

"No, I'm not writing a short story. That's my password."

"Let it go. You have to learn to pick your battles."

'The staff are healthy enough, it's the computers that keep getting a virus!'

How to create a password you can remember...

"Your Honour, Counsel submits the emails are admissible on the basis that anyone could have guessed the password."

The password: "C'mon everybody try to remember!"

I am not a robot

"They'll never guess how we stole their data."

'Computer crime seems to be on the rise.'

"You have been specially selected to upload your bank details. Offer ends midnight."

"Please enter the last 4 digits of your SSN...or enter all 9. They're all over the dark web."

"Dear Santa, This Christmas please send clothes for all those poor naked girls on daddy's computer. Love, Veronica"

USA 2030

"I've memorized so many passwords, things are starting to get weird."

"My owner used me irresponsibly and now I have a virus."

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

"Aways the victim."