Internet Safety Specialists Gifts

I'm teaching my kid how to stay safe online.

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Hate Platforms

The Anti-Agent

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

Dad Trophies

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."

"Careful! He knows computers."

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

Roger Buffle Jr. supplies his father with yet another computer password.

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

'You know, you can do this all online now.'

Clickbait

"So who is this First pet?"

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

Big Brother watching you watch Big Brother

Coffee. The phrase "where everybody knows your name" used to sound warm and friendly. Now, with all our personal information exposed online, it sounds scary!