Internet Safety Consultant Gifts

Boy, you were this close to getting in until I checked these photos of you on Facebook.

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

The Anti-Agent

Hate Platforms

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"That's odd. I visited an antibacterial soap website, and my computer got a virus."

Dad Trophies

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

"Check the setting. I'm sure the CIA isn't hacking into our appliances just to burn your toast."

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

Do you have a phone with recording capabilities? I want to be able to carry a wire when I meet with my boss.

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

"Looks like Brandon got caught with his hand in the password jar."

"Don't deny it. You only wanted me for my metadata."

"Careful! He knows computers."

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

Roger Buffle Jr. supplies his father with yet another computer password.

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

Clickbait

Cyb-R Safe: Offering the most convincing illusion of on-line security available today!

"So who is this First pet?"

'Kumor's responsible for all the computer passwords, so the boss had him encrypted.'

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

'Maybe a firewall isn't enough to protect our computer from worms and viruses. That's why I additionally installed this fence!'

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

Big Brother watching you watch Big Brother

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"