Self-defense Sage Gifts

A man holding a hammer watches a mummy unravel itself

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

Overjumpers

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

Women's Martial Arts Center

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

Martial Arts

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

KAWAII T'AI CHI

Mod Kwan Doh

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."

"Don't forget your gunfighting helmet."

"Let it go. You have to learn to pick your battles."

"No, I'm not writing a short story. That's my password."

"Your Honour, Counsel submits the emails are admissible on the basis that anyone could have guessed the password."

Wilbert wished he's taken those karate classes instead.

"Stop with the tennis balls! There's no oil down here... just monsters."

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

Martial Arts

"Aways the victim."

"And what if the assailant comes at you from inside your own head."

'It's a simple two-part strategy. First, locate the hills. Then head for them.'

"Your mom is a little overprotective, isn't she?"