Self-defense Sage Mugs

A man holding a hammer watches a mummy unravel itself

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

Overjumpers

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

"What colour do you have to get before the big kids leave you alone?"

Women's Martial Arts Center

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

Black Belt/Yellow Belt/Green Belt/No Belt.

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

Lots of personal improvement classes are going on down there. The white blood cells are teaching a self-defense class. The neuron is instructing others about improving communication skills. And a proton and cornea cell have teamed up to teach a class on staying focused and positive! Is the helium atom participating in any of this? No, he thinks he's above it all!

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

KAWAII T'AI CHI

'Not only do I have a black belt in karate, I also have a husband in the hospital to prove it!'

Martial Arts

Mod Kwan Doh

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

"Today you will learn the 'Paper Cut' technique."

Repulse Monkey. Difficult position, but one day it may save your life. Get it right!

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."

"Don't forget your gunfighting helmet."

They Are Not Going to Take Me

"No, I'm not writing a short story. That's my password."

"Let it go. You have to learn to pick your battles."

"Your Honour, Counsel submits the emails are admissible on the basis that anyone could have guessed the password."

Wilbert wished he's taken those karate classes instead.

"Stop with the tennis balls! There's no oil down here... just monsters."

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

Martial Arts

"And what if the assailant comes at you from inside your own head."

"Aways the victim."

'It's a simple two-part strategy. First, locate the hills. Then head for them.'