Safety Officer Humorist Gifts

"And that's why we're not getting a fire breathing dragon."

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Another one? Do you realize it will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

Safety Barriers

Mountain Climber With Pillow Padding.

Fire door.

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

Beware of Everything

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

"I thought he would run all sorts of scientific tests."

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

"The big one dropped his weapon, but keep an eye on the little one. I think he's still armed."

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

"When are you going to learn to put your shield up when you're flying at tree top level?"

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

Sweet Jailbreak

'The most important safety rule to follow when doing anything dangerous is to first find out who can sue you when you get hurt.'

'As a part of a cost-cutting experiment all of our safety measures will be replaced with these good luck charms.'

Health & Safety Official Tester.

Jet Turbine Testing Area

"Safe? Of course it's safe! I do fireworks every year!"

'I'm bored, what can I do?' 'Go and play with your Junior Bomb Disposal kit.'

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

Rollercoaster police chase.

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

Security at the Smaller Airports

'Let this guy go. He's working under cover.'

One lobster has another in hand cuffs.

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

'I baked it especially for you.'