Safe Lovers Gifts

AIDS prevention

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

Remember how you advised me to get a dangerous hobby to build up my self-esteem and impress people? Well, all the dangerous hobbies were already taken. You wrestle alligators

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

WHO checklist

Give way - 'Oh, alright then...'

Sword Swallow is Bitten by a Mosquito.

'Words can't express how much I Love You - so I'm writing an equation.'

Call it Tough Love.

Geekasaurus.

Boyfriend scores notches on wall by bed.

Man putting his head in a lion's mouth

"I bought it on Amazon. They have a good return policy."

Valentine's Day calls for a romantic candlelight dinner and soft music. Then a trip back to my place for some heavy groping and groaning.

Happy Valentine!

'I need a Vacation.'

'Apparently, he leaned over to read a 'safety notice' and fell out of the window.'

"Take a parable."

Snakeboarding.

Candles In Bed

'They transferred me from catering because I kept spilling the beans.'

'My member requires some interest.'

'See? If Mommy had been wearing her seatbelt that wouldn't have happened.'

Petting in the park.

"The problem is, all I think about is sex, all you think about is amphimixis."

'This is a killer hole!'

'It must be love, when he kisses me, my heart quakes 5.7 on the richter scale.'

'...so you wouldn't have to spend any money in the pub.'

"It's been redacted for security reasons."

'You're right, there is no 'i' in team. But there is 'tea', so I'm nipping off for a break right now ...'

'No point sulking,dear. If you're stopping in, you may as well be useful.'

Danger - Quicksand.

Adan and Eve.

Spiro & Pusho on the minefield

Crash-test angel