Risk-averse Lover Gifts

"I bought it on Amazon. They have a good return policy."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Wall St. or True Love.

'You know what they say...live fast, die young and leave a great fossil.'

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

"I know it's a big risk, Fred, but don't lose sight of its strongest selling point: You're taking it, not me!"

"My name's Edwin, and I'm addicted to risk."

'Yeah, the job's got great benefits, but mainly I like the safe work environment.'

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'

"It's not safe to keep meeting like this."

Yomp Investments - Big risks sometimes means BIG BUCKS!: 'I'm a little uneasy about the 'sometimes'...'

Fish talking in a bar - one has a heap of hooks hanging out of his head 'And you must be the one who got away?'

'Sure, I'm nervous. Remember OUR first date?'

"You asked to see me, boss?" "Yes, Rudy. We have a serious problem here." "I'm going to need you to stop humming the 'Star Wars' theme 24/7." "Disney is notoriously litigious. If they catch wind that you're publicly performing the theme, they may sue the cafe for royalties." "Daaaa... daaaa... duh-duh-duh daaaaaaa... daaaa... duh-duh-duh... wait, what?" "If you cost me my livelihood, I'll do to you what Han did to that Tauntaun."

A safe is about to fall on an unsuspecting man interested in risk-free investments.

'What's your tolerance for risk?'

"I'm a little uneasy about the 'sometimes'."

"Now we'll see what my husband has to say about this!"

'You certainly picked your moment to propose!'

"You’ll meet a beautiful woman whom your mother will loathe."

Hazardous substance - ignitable, corrosive, reactive, toxic, real smelly, yucchy.

'I've taken my knowledge of science and math and applied them to fashion to produce a wardrobe that's guaranteed to malfunction to get you the most possible publicity.'

"After thoroughly researching all the details, I think we can now safely throw caution to the wind..."

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

"In the event of a water landing, your seat cushions may be used as flotation devices. And, your tray tables may be used to bash sharks."

Church Drive-Thru.

They're rich but not in a glamorous way. They're Certificate of Deposit rich.

'My accounts aren't insured, but it's the risk I take for higher interest rates.'

Lovers' Leap

'Maybe hard work 'never killed anyone' but why take the risk?'

'I'm screwed...'

"If your instincts tell you to go out in a shark infested ocean then go. My instincts are sending me to a nice little aquarium out in the suburbs."

'I'm the bride's ex boyfriend. Before she says yes, can I just tell her that I've just won the lottery jackpot?!'

'Would you like to come over to my place and see a video of my first marriage?'

NYSE. Many will enter, few will win.