Safe Hands Aficionado Gifts

"He's got safe hands."

Anthropologists discover the earliest known depiction of Jazz Hands.

"He's a guard dog."

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

'So, how bad is it? Who can bring me up to speed?'

"I am wearing sunglasses and using sunscreen with 50% UV protection. What could possibly go wrong?"

AIDS prevention

Employment Agency. I didn't hire him -- Those bipedal guys are are afraid to get their hands dirty.

Crash test dummy employee of the month.

"Fasten your seat belt."

"It's called being preemptive."

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

"It's the Coast Guard - they want to know how many life-jackets we have onboard."

Drop dead gorgeous

Wash hand before making sound of one hand clapping.

'Careful,George.You know how it makes you sick when you travel backwards.'

Millwall - Hard Hat Area.

'The new helium airbag was a mistake.'

Dept of Health and Safety founder was accident victim.

Mall: "We always hold hands - If I let go, she shops."

The waitstaff at Luigi's like to have fun when they administered the Heimlich maneuver.

'Never thought I'd see you again - you really must have nine lives.'

Pinocchio goes on holiday.

"I childproofed all the cabinets for you."

"It's okay, honey. It's only a mailman."

Did our request for different safety hats get approval?

The guardrail brings it up to code.

"If we hire you, Sanders, you'll find that when it comes to security, we don't fool around."

"You see - this machine can cut your work force in half!"

"...this one has even a little emergency phone to ring the hospital if you cut yourself."

Safety First Cricket

'They're a bit pricey, but on the other hand, I don't have to buy any baby gates.'

'In case of a sudden loss of cabin-pressure, please don the respective AFTER-LIFE costume located in the seat pocket in front of you..'

The Electric Fence Survivors Support Group