Safe Hands Aficionado T-Shirts

"He's got safe hands."

Anthropologists discover the earliest known depiction of Jazz Hands.

"He's a guard dog."

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

'So, how bad is it? Who can bring me up to speed?'

"I am wearing sunglasses and using sunscreen with 50% UV protection. What could possibly go wrong?"

AIDS prevention

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

"Fasten your seat belt."

Crash test dummy employee of the month.

"It's called being preemptive."

'Careful,George.You know how it makes you sick when you travel backwards.'

Drop dead gorgeous

Millwall - Hard Hat Area.

'The new helium airbag was a mistake.'

Dept of Health and Safety founder was accident victim.

Mall: "We always hold hands - If I let go, she shops."

"I childproofed all the cabinets for you."

"You see - this machine can cut your work force in half!"

"It's okay, honey. It's only a mailman."

Pinocchio goes on holiday.

'Never thought I'd see you again - you really must have nine lives.'

"...this one has even a little emergency phone to ring the hospital if you cut yourself."

Did our request for different safety hats get approval?

Safety First Cricket

'So how was work, Honey?'

'They're a bit pricey, but on the other hand, I don't have to buy any baby gates.'

The Electric Fence Survivors Support Group

'Well I think we've nearly broken the back of this 'risk assessment..'