Sacred Shuffler Gifts

'Father, meet Sister Kate, she shimmies like a jelly upon a jelly plate.'

Interior design trends for parents....

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

'Bring me an in basket and an out basket and some paperwork to shuffle between them.'

'Dear sir, every month we place all bills in a big pile on the table, and select six at random for payment...'

'You've never planted potatoes before have you?'

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

'Man, I'm bombing,'

'It's an innovative way to boost attendance.'

'You like my in-tray full, don't you?'

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"How do you spell time management?"

Yoga in Heaven

A cat composer

"It's a 300 page government questionnaire about cutting back on bureaucracy."

'Ok, the cat's away. Time to play.'

Exercise for the end of the day...

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

The 'Time Management' consultant rang to say she double booked and she's going to be late!"

"Genesis" "*The King Gus Version"

"This one starts the day here and usually finishes the day up here."

'Click on the icon.'

"Around here they want things in triplicate."

Flexitime.

If I ever end up dancing like that, please buy me a one way ticket to Switzerland.

Magic Trick

"Shuffle Mode"

'Well, if you don't like our rules then start your own denomination.'

Watch that always reads: 'Later'.

"I'm still righting wrongs. And you?

Procrastinators Anonymous

Brokers