Sacred Service Gifts

"I'm afraid the diagnosis isn't good."

"All we have left is standing room only."

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"I'm getting red fruits, earth tones, and oak. Amen."

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

Christian and Born again Christian...

'The good stuff is here, under the counter.'

"Good old Frank. He was always thinking of others."

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

R.C.I.A.

Jerry Garcia, RIP

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

Cricketer's funeral

'Oh no! I forgot to change his ring tone to the funeral march!'

'I'd like to attract them with dynamic preaching, but I'm not above luring them with sugar.'

Male On Sunday

Church: Open Sundays

Here lies BoBo the Clown

Headstone reading 'Only Sleeping'.

A grave with an anchor and periscope

'It helps with reception.'

"The family has spent all week crafting a beautiful service of words and pictures - far too sentimental to be of practical use."

'Are you putting on your Sunday Best, Felix?'

'It's an innovative way to boost attendance.'

"The time has come to reflect and ask ourselves... 'what would Jesus tweet?'"

Angels Playing Frisbee with a Halo.

Existence 2.0

'How nice! -- They're making a ten-part miniseries about the Bible!'

"He had it commissioned just before he died."

"Harold died happy knowing he gained a certain immortality through social media."

Pope John Paul II 1920-2005.

Remembering All The American Idols.

One angel watches as another angel plays the harp.