Sacred Comedian Gifts

"... And the cold foam cascara nitro goes to Lazarus!"

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

At the 2021 Religious Games

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

Ten Commandments

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

Adam puts God on hold while texting.

"That's our new church mascot."

Guru.

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

St. Elmo's fired.

Pope tarts.

Sermon Applause.

Single Prayer Health Insurance

When Holy Cows are sent out to "Pastor"

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

R.C.I.A.

'Nice try, but Disneyland isn't a foreign mission.'

Praying Mantis.

'This whole Noah's Ark business sounds like a quota system to me!'

Regifts of the Magi

Garden of Eden and scrumping

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."