Rustic Retreat Aficionados Gifts

Fisherman finds a Poison Ivy Warning Sign.

"Ironically, this is the living room."

A Good Batch.

"Too crowded. Let's go."

Club Antisocial

'Oh, rustic used to mean 'no indoor plumbing', but now it means, 'No computers'!'

"The new house is almost ready!"

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

The Oaks: Breakfast And Back To Bed.

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

Judgment Day is coming next Monday. Repent. Now, hold on. How can I believe you when so many dire prophecies haven't come true? I sealed myself in a shelter twice in the late '60s, hid in the Appalachian Mountains a decade later. A huge bunching of Judgment Day visions in the late '80s led me to simply get a time share in the Colorado mountains … Getting out of town doesn't spare you Judgment Day. I don't think. Lemme double-check the clues in Marmaduke. Mostly I needed an excuse to get away. Th

Early American Think tank

The Rudges' peaceful home

Spring Training

Rustic Campgrounds.

'What's the night life-like?

"...And then beyond the lawn, a lily pool with fountains and..."

Septic Fields Forever.

"I moved out here for peace and quiet, but now I keep talking to myself."

Pray it Don't Spry it.

"I got married once - to avoid writing."

Rustic Camping: No Water, Electric or Wi-Fi

'The paper screwed up the ad. It read 'Wanted: Hired Gun' rather than 'hired man'.'

'Jenkins, when was the last time you cleaned out the barn?'

'Did you remember to lock the house?'

"I told everyone we're hibernating. Whatever you do, don't answer the phone."

'Mother, are you sure your marijuana use is purely medicinal?'

Ocean sounds $1.00

"We can't blame the travel agent, you asked for somewhere quiet and away fro it all."

'We bought this bolt hole to get away from politicians talking green politics.'

A*se End of Nowhere POPULATION: YOU

'Oh, how utterly romantic! A hunter rug in front of the fireplace!'

The Attorney Barn

'I thought you'd be calling me sooner or later.'