Rustic Lifestyle Fan Gifts

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

Punk Reindeer

"Stick with me baby, and you'll eat slop every day."

Country farmhouse loaf / Inner city highrise loaf.

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

"Life is beautiful, and it's messy."

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

'I wouldn't bother. They're probably gluten-free vegetarians.'

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

"The early bird may get the worm, but the late bird gets delicious table scraps."

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

Nobody warned Marge that a side effect of a hip replacement is feeling more hippy.

"The coffee is free, but now we rent the tables."

'Naw, man! I ain't never worked in no animal hospital...'

Country life

'We've been tailgating so long, I think we might be homeless.'

"And how do expect to pay for this, Mr Morton?"

'They say pot makes you less motivated, but I've already been to Taco Bell eleven times today.'

"It's our best seller. Perfect for sitting idly by."

'We like to welcome new team members with three cheers and a wet towel.'

'You seem to be suffering from frontier mentality...'

Grandparents with their grandchild

Crusty Bread

Farmer with gun shots instead of flying ducks

Early American Think Tank.

Demand for reclaimed barn wood causes wave of new barn construction.

"Done already? Wow!" "Yup, a new record. Just under two years."

'I figured this would make great soup - I got it from a hunter this morning!'

Related

Summer Road Work

Landmark selfie

Be Believable Anywhere, Anytime in these Quality Fib Overalls.

"I had the usual religious upbringing, but then I converted."