Rustic Life Fan Gifts

'See what I mean, Martha? There's just no respect anymore.'

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

Country farmhouse loaf / Inner city highrise loaf.

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

"Oh, oh - it's getting into organic."

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

"...but, seriously..."

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

'Today's unwilling nude model is Ralph.'

'I roll it ahead of me, and anything it hits goes into my famous Road Kill Stew.'

St Bernard Toilet Holder

Caveman bathroom

Transformation of Man into Monster.

"And how do expect to pay for this, Mr Morton?"

'You seem to be suffering from frontier mentality...'

"Since we're off the grid, Madge does the cooking over a bonfire."

"The statistician is coming over to explain why this is perfectly normal."

'We like to welcome new team members with three cheers and a wet towel.'

Grandparents with their grandchild

Cowboy with saddle coffee holder.

"Done already? Wow!" "Yup, a new record. Just under two years."

'I figured this would make great soup - I got it from a hunter this morning!'

Related

"We have a question from an audience member, who asks: 'how do you stay optimistic during difficult times?'"

I pay 125 clams a year on road taxes.

'No, seriously. I'm in medicine. Cutting edge stuff. I work in a lab downtown.'

'Do you have to make that slurping sound when you eat?!'

"Okay go ahead, but I say the appendix is on the right."

Designer Babies - "A little distressing and this nursery would look good." - "Are you joking, minimalism is the way to go."

The wheel.

Dog chases caveman's newly invented wheel.

'To me, anyone interested in high tech stuff like fire, is a nerd.'