Rustic Life Fan Gifts

Dog Outhouse

'See what I mean, Martha? There's just no respect anymore.'

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

Country farmhouse loaf / Inner city highrise loaf.

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

"Oh, oh - it's getting into organic."

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"...but, seriously..."

'Today's unwilling nude model is Ralph.'

Caveman bathroom

St Bernard Toilet Holder

'I roll it ahead of me, and anything it hits goes into my famous Road Kill Stew.'

Transformation of Man into Monster.

"And how do expect to pay for this, Mr Morton?"

March 8, 2030: the debut of 'Rocky 19.'

"The statistician is coming over to explain why this is perfectly normal."

"Since we're off the grid, Madge does the cooking over a bonfire."

'You seem to be suffering from frontier mentality...'

Cowboy with saddle coffee holder.

'We like to welcome new team members with three cheers and a wet towel.'

Grandparents with their grandchild

"Done already? Wow!" "Yup, a new record. Just under two years."

Related

I pay 125 clams a year on road taxes.

"We have a question from an audience member, who asks: 'how do you stay optimistic during difficult times?'"

'I figured this would make great soup - I got it from a hunter this morning!'

'No, seriously. I'm in medicine. Cutting edge stuff. I work in a lab downtown.'

'Do you have to make that slurping sound when you eat?!'

Designer Babies - "A little distressing and this nursery would look good." - "Are you joking, minimalism is the way to go."

"Okay go ahead, but I say the appendix is on the right."

The wheel.