Rustic Life Appreciators Gifts

'Do you have to make that slurping sound when you eat?!'

"Ironically, this is the living room."

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

Country farmhouse loaf / Inner city highrise loaf.

Thatched roof car.

"I learned ridin', I learned cowpokin' and I learned how to eat and sleep under the stars. But, dag nab it, I never learned any geology."

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"Life is beautiful, and it's messy."

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

Country life

'Would Sir care for a hot towel?'

"And how do expect to pay for this, Mr Morton?"

'We like to welcome new team members with three cheers and a wet towel.'

'You seem to be suffering from frontier mentality...'

Farmer with gun shots instead of flying ducks

'Jenkins, when was the last time you cleaned out the barn?'

Grandparents with their grandchild

House Hunters of the Old West

Early American Think Tank.

"Done already? Wow!" "Yup, a new record. Just under two years."

Related

"Of course it's horse-proof. Everything I own is horse-proof."

"A mighty fine cabernet, Zeke!"

Farm notice - Milk Your Own Cow.

Conversation in the country about theft

'Thunderbird Reserve? If I had known, I would have worn a fresh garbage bag.'