Rustic Life Appreciators Gifts

'Do you have to make that slurping sound when you eat?!'

"Ironically, this is the living room."

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

Country farmhouse loaf / Inner city highrise loaf.

"I learned ridin', I learned cowpokin' and I learned how to eat and sleep under the stars. But, dag nab it, I never learned any geology."

Thatched roof car.

'Zeb, don't you reckon it's time you took that pig into town and traded him for some decent Wi'-Fi?'

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"Life is beautiful, and it's messy."

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

'Would Sir care for a hot towel?'

Country life

I think he must have been in marketing before --- He's all about branding.

"And how do expect to pay for this, Mr Morton?"

'You seem to be suffering from frontier mentality...'

Farmer with gun shots instead of flying ducks

'We like to welcome new team members with three cheers and a wet towel.'

Early American Think Tank.

'Jenkins, when was the last time you cleaned out the barn?'

House Hunters of the Old West

Grandparents with their grandchild

"Done already? Wow!" "Yup, a new record. Just under two years."

Related

"Of course it's horse-proof. Everything I own is horse-proof."

Redneck Jacuzzi

"A mighty fine cabernet, Zeke!"

Farm notice - Milk Your Own Cow.

Campaign for Real Spit'n'Sawdust

'See what I mean, Martha? There's just no respect anymore.'